Interpersonal Relationships: Emotions

As I am taking a psychology class on theories of personality, One individual that stood out to me was Carl Rogers. He was a firm believer in communicating all feelings to avoid build-up, which results in an inappropriate relay of emotion once one has reached an overwhelming level. Doing so involves risk but can result in growth.

15Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. ~ Ephesians 4:15

Learning to accept my imperfections as a perfectionist. I’ve noticed I struggle with vulnerability. I’ve always been aware of this struggle. Still, I’ve never fully acknowledged it’s depth or the impact it has had on my relationships. As I have experimented with coming out of my shell and expressing myself, I have noticed the dynamics of my relationships changing. It is common for me to expect people to be able to have tough conversations. Still, my level of vulnerability, once I do open up, is much deeper than the average person. As a result, when people respond with less than loving arms, I clam up and revert back to my quietness, assuming this is the best way to carry through life. However, this has led me towards the perpetuation of guilt for speaking up. Ultimately, I feel like a burden for speaking up, and then anger for feeling wrong about vocalizing my needs. Once these feelings pass, I get irritated, and tension builds up until so many things occur that I can no longer keep my thoughts to myself. My emotions bleed through in everything I do. I am slowly learning to speak up even if it means being greeted with anger or rejection. As much as it hurts me, I know it’s an essential step for me to live a better life. So I welcome discussion, I welcome apologizing from both my end and theirs. I carry on, regardless of the outcome. I become thankful for these opportunities that open my eyes to faults in myself and others. These impact any relationship and by working through them it is my hope that not only myself but others involved, as well, can grow through the situation. I am grateful for those in my life who have contributed to these experiences, both good and bad. In the end, if you let it, all situations allow an opportunity for self-reflection, deeper connectivity, and stronger interpersonal relationships. Blessings!

26 thoughts on “Interpersonal Relationships: Emotions

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  1. This goes with my 2020 goals… to get mentally, physically and spiritually stronger…

    Physically, yes.. it’s coming along.
    Mentally… I almost feel like deleting the blog sometimes.
    Spiritually, sometimes good and sometimes meh….

    I put my 101% into what I do, like this blog. But it’s incredibly discouraging when people barely put their 1% into you.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I resonate with putting 100% into everything I do. It can definitely be discouraging but I like to look at it as a testament to one’s character. as Hebrews 13:16 states, “And do not neglect doing good and sharing, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” It is a journey towards acknowledging that people have different perspectives of dedication and the way in which they support others. I hope you stay around but I think it is important to do what is best for you soul. Blessings!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. This place has a way of draining you. And I guess I try to reach too many people and some people just don’t want to be reached.

        Since I’ve been gone, I have felt better and I am reading and studying more. But I still check in here too much.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s so hard when people don’t respond in the way you would like them to respond. I can get sensitive to that as well, and get stuck on feeling so distant from people. I forgot about the close relationships that I do have. They’re all different, but special in there own way. Some get me on one level, but not others, and vice versa because we are all unique. Nobody can see things exactly as we do, but that’s the adventure of friendship I suppose. But I totally understand how you feel when the response is less than loving arms. It doesn’t take much for me to get discouraged especially when I really like someone and would like to know them as a friend.

    Thanks so much for sharing and being vulnerable. You’re doing great. I enjoyed the read and getting to know how you tick a little better.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for the support. I truly appreciate it. My friends are very different as people and they tend to understand me in unique ways. I feel honesty is an essential component of friendship and, with this concept, some people do not always find honesty welcoming, especially when it threatens one’s self-concept. However, perspective is important and communication allows for that bridge. Without communication and, more importantly, comprehension, discouragement is inevitable. Blessings!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I agree. Friends can be very unique in their individuality and ability to understand us. I personally find that each friend fills a specific need in my life. Example: One may get and bring out my goofy side, another may bring out my analytical side or my need to just talk about something homey and light. So I personally find that variety a necessity.

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  3. This can be difficult especially with new friendships. Trying to feel people out isn’t easy.

    I’ve realized there have been people I really wanted to connect to, but couldn’t. There were other people, which surprised me, I didn’t want to connect with as much as I thought. Deep conversations I really enjoy, and for a lot of people you can kinda tell upfront if they also enjoy deep conversations a lot.

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  4. I’ve had that issue too of claming up when my voice doesn’t get the response I thought I should’ve gotten. I’m so focused on treating others the way I’d like to be treated until, I feel like everyone in the world should give back to me what I give out to them, but it doesn’t happen that way. I do feel ashamed for speaking up sometimes and I have issues with doing it. I’m working on it, I’m also working on protecting my energy as well. Both are 2020 goals. Great post and I wish you well on your journey of self-discovery!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t want this blog to come off the wrong way. I am a firm believer in treating others the way you would like to be treated. With this, comes the importance of being able to express emotions and, while one may disagree, in order to strengthen a relationship, one must be willing to hear how other people feel. This is where, as you mention, energy protection, becomes essential. I wish the best for you, as well. Thank you for sharing a part of your heart with me. Blessings!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. We don’t do ourselves or anyone else any favors by keeping our feelings to ourselves, especially the ones that make us vulnerable. So many of us are wondering, “Am I the only one who …?” If no one else confesses that they have similar struggles, we all go on feeling weird and inadequate.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree with that. I think my focus is that in certain circumstances, one’s perspective might be different and this can lead to conflict. As a result, there is a need to step back and weigh the pros and cons of speaking up. I recently read that communication isn’t key, comprehension is. That being said, everyone progresses through different life paths and, as a result, views things in unique ways. When it comes to everyday struggles, however, I definitely feel that vulnerability is a super power. Blessings & thank you for your words! I appreciate them greatly! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, perspective! I’ve found that when I commit something to prayer, I become suddenly more aware of where that person is coming from. (If I really WANT to understand.) There’s only one Person who understands us completely, our Creator. The closer we get to Him, the more insight we can have regarding ourselves and others. That’s why I’m seeking divine perspective 😉

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  6. Love this so much! I feel like you just described me lol. I’ve been trying a lot lately, to be more vulnerable as I have realised that’s what I need to do in order to grow more. Although I know it is benefiting me, it’s also scaring me so I feel like I’m in a constant battle of opening up and then being dead quiet. Hope you’re doing well though. Many Blessings, Grace. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad that God was able to use this post as a way of resonating with your current situation. I understand the internal conflict all too well but I am confident the outcome will be far greater than remaining acceptant of suppressing our feelings. I hope everything is going smoothly for you during this time. Blessings!

      Liked by 2 people

  7. From what you said here, you sound like you are an Enneagram Type 4. Very emotional and also the creative type. If you aren’t familiar with Enneagrams, I’d recommend looking into it and learning more. I’m a Type 2 and learning more about who I am and how I operate has taught me things about myself that I never ever would have known had I not stumbled upon this personality-typing system. There isn’t any funny business like sorcery or witchcraft involved, otherwise I would have run in the other direction when I first heard about it, so no need to worry about that. But it can really help you relate better both to yourself and others. If you do look into it, please do share your thoughts. Stay blessed!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s funny you mention that! I use the Myer-Briggs and I am obsessed with it! It has helped me understand myself so much more. I tried the Enneagram but, for some reason, every time I take it, I get different results. I appreciate your insight!!! Blessings!

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